Two and a Half Men

Comedy

Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom that originally aired on CBS for twelve seasons from September 22, 2003 to February 19, 2015. Originally starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones, the series was about a hedonistic jing ...

Season 1
Ep Title Released
#0 Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot N/A
#1 Pilot (380 clips) 22 Sep 2003
#2 Big Flappy Bastards (336 clips) 29 Sep 2003
#3 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell 06 Oct 2003
#4 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap (325 clips) 13 Oct 2003
#5 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump (289 clips) 20 Oct 2003
#6 Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? 27 Oct 2003
#7 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake 03 Nov 2003
#8 Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful (290 clips) 10 Nov 2003
#9 Phase One, Complete (330 clips) 17 Nov 2003
#10 Merry Thanksgiving 24 Nov 2003
#11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor (295 clips) 15 Dec 2003
#12 Camel Filters and Pheromones 05 Jan 2004
#13 Sarah Like Puny Alan 12 Jan 2004
#14 I Can't Afford Hyenas 02 Feb 2004
#15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick 09 Feb 2004
#16 That Was Saliva, Alan 16 Feb 2004
#17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats 23 Feb 2004
#18 An Old Flame with a New Wick 01 Mar 2004
#19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You 22 Mar 2004
#20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark 19 Apr 2004
#21 No Sniffing, No Wowing 03 May 2004
#22 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet 10 May 2004
#23 Just Like Buffalo 17 May 2004
#24 Can You Feel My Finger 24 May 2004
Season 2
Ep Title Released
#1 Back Off Mary Poppins 20 Sep 2004
#2 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls 27 Sep 2004
#3 A Bag Full of Jawea 04 Oct 2004
#4 Go Get Mommy's Bra 11 Oct 2004
#5 Bad News from the Clinic 18 Oct 2004
#6 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance 25 Oct 2004
#7 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana 08 Nov 2004
#8 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers 15 Nov 2004
#9 Yes, Monsignor 22 Nov 2004
#10 The Salmon Under My Sweater 29 Nov 2004
#11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos 13 Dec 2004
#12 A Lung Full of Alan 03 Jan 2005
#13 Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów 17 Jan 2005
#14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut 31 Jan 2005
#15 Smell the Umbrella Stand 07 Feb 2005
#16 Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? 14 Feb 2005
#17 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! 21 Feb 2005
#18 It Was Mame, Mom 07 Mar 2005
#19 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise 21 Mar 2005
#20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey 18 Apr 2005
#21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On 02 May 2005
#22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother 09 May 2005
#23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab 16 May 2005
#24 Does This Smell Funny to You 23 May 2005
Season 3
Ep Title Released
#1 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts 19 Sep 2005
#2 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover 26 Sep 2005
#3 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark 03 Oct 2005
#4 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs 10 Oct 2005
#5 We Called It Mr. Pinky 17 Oct 2005
#6 Hi, Mr. Horned One 24 Oct 2005
#7 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop 07 Nov 2005
#8 That Voodoo That I Do Do 14 Nov 2005
#9 Madame and Her Special Friend 21 Nov 2005
#10 Something Salted and Twisted 28 Nov 2005
#11 Santa's Village of the Damned 19 Dec 2005
#12 That Special Tug 09 Jan 2006
#13 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium 23 Jan 2006
#14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded 06 Feb 2006
#15 My Tongue Is Meat 27 Feb 2006
#16 Ergo, the Booty Call 06 Mar 2006
#17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer 13 Mar 2006
#18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler 20 Mar 2006
#19 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin 10 Apr 2006
#20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro 24 Apr 2006
#21 And the Plot Moistens 01 May 2006
#22 Just Once with Aunt Sophie 08 May 2006
#23 Arguments for the Quickie 15 May 2006
#24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite 22 May 2006
Season 4
Ep Title Released
#1 Working for Caligula 18 Sep 2006
#2 Who's Vod Kanockers 25 Sep 2006
#3 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress 02 Oct 2006
#4 A Pot Smoking Monkey 09 Oct 2006
#5 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility 16 Oct 2006
#6 Apologies for the Frivolity 23 Oct 2006
#7 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head 30 Oct 2006
#8 Release the Dogs 13 Nov 2006
#9 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour 20 Nov 2006
#10 Kissing Abraham Lincoln 27 Nov 2006
#11 Walnuts and Demerol 11 Dec 2006
#12 Castrating Sheep in Montana 08 Jan 2007
#13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer 22 Jan 2007
#14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami 05 Feb 2007
#15 My Damn Stalker 12 Feb 2007
#16 Young People Have Phlegm Too 19 Feb 2007
#17 I Merely Slept with a Commie 26 Feb 2007
#18 It Never Rains in Hooterville 19 Mar 2007
#19 Smooth as a Ken Doll 09 Apr 2007
#20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot 16 Apr 2007
#21 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous 23 Apr 2007
#22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag 30 Apr 2007
#23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin 07 May 2007
#24 Prostitutes and Gelato 14 May 2007
Season 5
Ep Title Released
#1 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom 24 Sep 2007
#2 Media Room Slash Dungeon 01 Oct 2007
#3 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo 08 Oct 2007
#4 City of Great Racks 15 Oct 2007
#5 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat 22 Oct 2007
#6 Help Daddy Find His Toenail 29 Oct 2007
#7 Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room 05 Nov 2007
#8 Is There a Mrs. Waffles? 12 Nov 2007
#9 Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids 19 Nov 2007
#10 Kinda Like Necrophilia 26 Nov 2007
#11 Meander to Your Dander 17 Mar 2008
#12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh 24 Mar 2008
#13 The Soil is Moist 31 Mar 2008
#14 Winky-Dink Time 14 Apr 2008
#15 Rough Night in Hump Junction 21 Apr 2008
#16 Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty 28 Apr 2008
#17 Fish in a Drawer 05 May 2008
#18 If My Hole Could Talk 12 May 2008
#19 Waiting for the Right Snapper 19 May 2008
Season 6
Ep Title Released
#1 Taterhead Is Our Love Child 22 Sep 2008
#2 Pie Hole, Herb 29 Sep 2008
#3 Damn You, Eggs Benedict 06 Oct 2008
#4 The Flavin' and the Mavin' 13 Oct 2008
#5 A Jock Strap in Hell 20 Oct 2008
#6 It's Always Nazi Week 03 Nov 2008
#7 Best H.O. Money Can Buy 10 Nov 2008
#8 Pinocchio's Mouth 17 Nov 2008
#9 The Mooch at the Boo 24 Nov 2008
#10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited 08 Dec 2008
#11 The Devil's Lube 15 Dec 2008
#12 Thank God for Scoliosis 12 Jan 2009
#13 I Think You Offended Don 19 Jan 2009
#14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie 02 Feb 2009
#15 I'd Like to Start with the Cat 09 Feb 2009
#16 She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime 02 Mar 2009
#17 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? 09 Mar 2009
#18 My Son's Enormous Head 16 Mar 2009
#19 The Two Finger Rule 30 Mar 2009
#20 Hello, I am Alan Cousteau 13 Apr 2009
#21 Above Exalted Cyclops 27 Apr 2009
#22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box 04 May 2009
#23 Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth 11 May 2009
#24 Baseball Was Better with Steroids 18 May 2009
Season 7
Ep Title Released
#1 818-jklpuzo 21 Sep 2009
#2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation 28 Sep 2009
#3 Mmm, Fish. Yum. 05 Oct 2009
#4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator 12 Oct 2009
#5 For the Sake of the Child 19 Oct 2009
#6 Give Me Your Thumb 02 Nov 2009
#7 Untainted by Filth 09 Nov 2009
#8 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. 16 Nov 2009
#9 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair 23 Nov 2009
#10 That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room' 07 Dec 2009
#11 Warning, It's Dirty 14 Dec 2009
#12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste 11 Jan 2010
#13 Yay, No Polyps 18 Jan 2010
#14 Crude and Uncalled For 01 Feb 2010
#15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche 08 Feb 2010
#16 Tinkle Like a Princess 01 Mar 2010
#17 I Found Your Moustache 08 Mar 2010
#18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day 22 Mar 2010
#19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave 12 Apr 2010
#20 I Called Him Magoo 10 May 2010
#21 Gumby with a Pokey 17 May 2010
#22 This Is Not Gonna End Well 24 May 2010
Season 8
Ep Title Released
#1 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud 20 Sep 2010
#2 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer 27 Sep 2010
#3 A Pudding-Filled Cactus 04 Oct 2010
#4 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers 11 Oct 2010
#5 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel 18 Oct 2010
#6 Twanging Your Magic Clanger 25 Oct 2010
#7 The Crazy Bitch Gazette 01 Nov 2010
#8 Springtime on a Stick 08 Nov 2010
#9 A Good Time in Central Africa 15 Nov 2010
#10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop 22 Nov 2010
#11 Dead from the Waist Down 06 Dec 2010
#12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead 13 Dec 2010
#13 Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup 03 Jan 2011
#14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs 17 Jan 2011
#15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak 07 Feb 2011
#16 That Darn Priest 14 Feb 2011
Season 9
Ep Title Released
#1 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt 19 Sep 2011
#2 People Who Love Peepholes 26 Sep 2011
#3 Big Girls Don't Throw Food 03 Oct 2011
#4 Nine Magic Fingers 10 Oct 2011
#5 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro 17 Oct 2011
#6 The Squat and the Hover 24 Oct 2011
#7 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets 31 Oct 2011
#8 Thank You for the Intercourse 07 Nov 2011
#9 Frodo's Headshots 14 Nov 2011
#10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes 21 Nov 2011
#11 What a Lovely Landing Strip 05 Dec 2011
#12 One False Move, Zimbabwe! 12 Dec 2011
#13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion 02 Jan 2012
#14 A Possum on Chemo 16 Jan 2012
#15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack 06 Feb 2012
#16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy 13 Feb 2012
#17 Not in My Mouth! 20 Feb 2012
#18 The War Against Gingivitis 27 Feb 2012
#19 Palmdale, Ech 19 Mar 2012
#20 Grandma's Pie N/A
#21 Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' 16 Apr 2012
#22 Why We Gave Up Women 30 Apr 2012
#23 The Straw in My Donut Hole 07 May 2012
#24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! 14 May 2012
Season 10
Ep Title Released
#1 I Changed My Mind About the Milk 27 Sep 2012
#2 A Big Bag of Dog 04 Oct 2012
#3 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt 11 Oct 2012
#4 You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For 18 Oct 2012
#5 That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam 25 Oct 2012
#6 Ferrets, Attack! 01 Nov 2012
#7 Avoid the Chinese Mustard 08 Nov 2012
#8 Something My Gynecologist Said 15 Nov 2012
#9 I Scream When I Pee 29 Nov 2012
#10 One Nut Johnson 06 Dec 2012
#11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole 13 Dec 2012
#12 Welcome to Alancrest 03 Jan 2013
#13 Grab a Feather and Get in Line 10 Jan 2013
#14 Run, Steven Staven! Run! 31 Jan 2013
#15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It 07 Feb 2013
#16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby 14 Feb 2013
#17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries 21 Feb 2013
#18 The 9:04 from Pemberton 07 Mar 2013
#19 Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon 14 Mar 2013
#20 Bazinga! That's From a TV Show 04 Apr 2013
#21 Another Night with Neil Diamond 25 Apr 2013
#22 My Bodacious Vidalia 02 May 2013
#23 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped 09 May 2013
Season 11
Ep Title Released
#1 Nangnangnangnang 26 Sep 2013
#2 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball 03 Oct 2013
#3 This Unblessed Biscuit 10 Oct 2013
#4 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank 17 Oct 2013
#5 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 24 Oct 2013
#6 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants 07 Nov 2013
#7 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie 14 Nov 2013
#8 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. 21 Nov 2013
#9 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer 05 Dec 2013
#10 On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! 12 Dec 2013
#11 Tazed in the Lady Nuts 02 Jan 2014
#12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. 09 Jan 2014
#13 Bite Me, Supreme Court 30 Jan 2014
#14 Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe 06 Feb 2014
#15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin 27 Feb 2014
#16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper 06 Mar 2014
#17 Welcome Home, Jake 13 Mar 2014
#18 West Side Story 03 Apr 2014
#19 Lan mao shi zai wuding shang 10 Apr 2014
#20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia 24 Apr 2014
#21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot 01 May 2014
#22 Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead 08 May 2014
Season 12
Ep Title Released
#1 The Ol' Mexican Spinach 30 Oct 2014
#2 A Chic Bar in Ibiza 06 Nov 2014
#3 Glamping in a Yurt 13 Nov 2014
#4 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight 20 Nov 2014
#5 Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. 27 Nov 2014
#6 Alan Shot a Little Girl 04 Dec 2014
#7 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner 11 Dec 2014
#8 Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey 18 Dec 2014
#9 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey 08 Jan 2015
#10 Here I Come, Pants! 15 Jan 2015
#11 For Whom the Booty Calls 22 Jan 2015
#12 A Beer-Battered Rip-Off 29 Jan 2015
#13 Boompa Loved His Hookers 05 Feb 2015
#14 Don't Give a Monkey a Gun 12 Feb 2015
#15 Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2 19 Feb 2015