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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
-Yeah, lan. -Sorry, it's a... it's a habit.
Hey.
maybe close the door so mom doesn't come in.
I mean, there's only one thing left.
MAN: Sure you don't want to get in on this, bro?
Your little brother's sleeping not ten feet away. Jesus Christ!
-put them back in there. I don't want... -lan, you've gotta calm down.
Hey, sweetheart, men are talking. We got this one.
All right. Let me give you some advice, Lance, all right?
-Kick ass, we'll come. -Yeah, where is it?
l'll call you from nationals.
Don't move, asshole, or you're a fucking stain.
I guess you get to live.
Let me put it in your butt.
This is gonna happen.
You ever hear of a rolling-brown out? No. Let's try it!
Oh, my God. Excuse me! Sorry!
Burn that mother down
Now, I thought you were someone else, all right?
That's just 'cause they don't know how to close.
. .
FELlClA: They're not working !
We have to give him time to get used to the idea.
Boat show, you and your boyfriend bring it in here.
We still talk from time to time.
Then he met a gal over in Wofford.
Why don't you take me for a ride?
Okay, so l... Oh my God, this is so lame.
I'm gay as hell.
ANDY: Why don't you take a picture, lan?
Oh, no.
-We don't have any money. -No jobs.
Okay. Yeah, I was stalking you just a little.
lAN: Please! No!
Yeah
BRANDY: Bad boy.
(SCOFFS)
Do you like what you see?
or like I said, we could send you guys some CDs.
Mary!
Hey, I'm gonna go see who Felicia's talking to.
Come on, two more, two more!
Don't lean on it.
Whoo!
I'm the oracle in my chest
Yeah, and post it on Totalfuckingawesomeness.com.
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
-Are you all right? -Do I look like I'm all right? Fuck!
HOLY FUCKING FUCK BALLS!
-and you just piss in the radiator. -Really?
-lan ! Hey! -lt gets better.
Come crashing through your door
HARSH
He took my fucking baby.
No. Guys, come on. I don't have the aim that you do.
ls there gonna be more hot snatch like you there?
All right, come on, lan. You can do it.
-God damn it! I knew it! -l didn't say anything.
You know what might make you feel better? Putting 40 on pump two.
To visit your grandma? Whoa!
They're not for me. They're not.
(LAUGHlNG)
The boy did have some plums. He had some plums.
All right. All right, fair enough. Just not in the nuts.
Okay. I'm gonna go tell my mom.
-Yeah? -Yeah. I didn't mean to undersell it,
And my dick.
See my lady and I here, we've been married forever.
Yeah. Yeah, like a sleepover or something. lt'll be fun.
We had one of these at Cub Scout camp. I kind of mastered it.
-No. -No.
You sure?
-No, Mary, wait. -What?
-What do you think? -Thank you.
You've got one hour!
-No! -What the fuck are you doing?
And you leave us out there with her mom's weird soda.
What're you doing? You're firing off your skin pistol?
All right, this is it for us, Duane,
Because you are right on the verge of a freak-out.
Okay, seriously. Quit being such a fag and get in.
(LAUGHlNG)
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
You know, I visit my grandma sometimes two or three times a week,
Gents.
lan. Dude, where you going?
You give your heart to that boy,
Good. Well, then where are we going?
So he met this chick on the lnternet, which is sketchy.
Totally, I mean friendship is awesome. Good call.
Sport, fuck me and not some stranger.
Hey, this is Rick. He's played arena football.
Come on, you know me better than anyone. I bet you know who it is.
-Damn, you're hot as fuck. -Yeah.
-You're so sweet. -Yeah.
I have to go to church.
-Grammy K? -lAN: She's fine.
No, it means run wild. it's an Amish tradition where when we turn 1 6,
We have fun.
You know, and it's all good after that?
So, give up, give up Give up, give up
-Okay. -You ever heard of Rumspringa?
LANCE: All possums go to heaven.
lt doesn't have to mean anything. lt doesn't have to jeopardize our friendship.
I mean, he's a dentist, so it's totally not a big deal.
l'll just leave these here for you.
Where do you think you're going, cunt?
She'll think that's bad-ass, because it totally is.
(SCREAMlNG)
Yup.
-Can I ask you another question? -You just did again.
So who is it? Who's the lucky caballero?
And, I mean, if I don't go back, I'm gonna be shunned.
-God ! -FELlClA: Gross.
(SNlFFS)
I swear to God it will be your last conscious act.
-'Cause we're the shit. -Yeah, you oughts to know that, bitch.
You know what every girl l've ever banged had in common?
So what happened with Becca?
I said, yeah, yeah, yeah
lAN: Where the hell's the road? FELlClA: lt feels like left.
KAT: In the back! In the back!
(CHUCKLlNG DEVlOUSLY)
Oh dude, that girl reeks of sex!
It’s 2017. You’re working at Next Step Design, trying to figure out the best Christmas gift possible to send to clients. Then…it hits you…
lt is. You know, I mean,
(EXCLAlMlNG)
-Okay, I'll be right down. -No. Now, Clay Aiken.