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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Where do you guys get the confidence to, like, hit on every girl you see?
Dude, I really can't stress enough how much you're gonna enjoy visiting Grandma.
Oh, shit!
What are you doing?
Fuck you. We've talked about this.
FELlClA: Damn you, whore!
I mean that. I don't say it enough.
curiosity about men.
-We had shit to do. -Uh-oh ! See that creamy stuff?
Kick it in the ass dildo
I have a crush on someone, a boy, a guy.
(CLANKlNG)
(SlREN WAlLlNG)
Okay, girls want a nice guy who's gonna treat them well.
Why?
-lAN: You guys are amazing. -Thanks.
Shit. I got gum in my bush.
You're the best wing-man ever.
Yeah, just want to make sure we're talking about the same thing here.
I'm not going home a virgin.
So I kind of want you to fight it.
What?
You kids wanna help yourselves to a can of purple?
Help him to aspire to the heights of Jon Bon Jovi.
Hey, highlights, back it up.
top
(SNlFFLES)
(GlGGLlNG)
There you go. There you go.
lan, honey, I made you some tollhouse cookies.
You like it?
Seriously, dude, pack your shit. We're going to Knoxville.
-Fuck off, donut. -Rex, it's me.
(COUGHS)
Spooner. Spooner. Spooner.
And I was like, yeah, this gets hotter by the second.
You been doing like I told you, being a dick?
Harsh.
We're gonna head down there tonight and you're gonna put a dent in that shit.
-We're going home. -What?
But, hey, maybe you could come to Chicago and we could hang out
What's up, Big Tasty?
Sometimes you get that bronze medal, you know?
all these feelings that l've been having lately anyway.
-Guy, you're not wearing any pants. -Yeah, I know.
(LANCE EXCLAlMlNG)
I think we should take our clothes off.
No, I'm gonna text Tasty, and I'm gonna tell her I'm not coming.
Well, Felicia and I were talking in there,
I know you guys are BFF and all that shit,
You’re breaking the old man’s heart
And on New Year's Eve, Felicia and I finally visited Grandma.
I don't know what l'd do if I ever lost you.
(LAUGHS)
So, wait, you do want to party?
lan, this can be our little secret. No one has to know.
-God, I'm such an idiot. -Look, there's something about Lance.
but, you know, back to what we were talking about earlier,
Get on your feet, you motherfucking pussy!
-That's the funniest thing, too. -l know.
(GROANlNG)
FEMALE OFFlCER: Anything else?
Hello. This is a coupon for six free donuts. Donuts?
Fuck off donut
Lord, please bless this Fall Out Boy.
What is that? She's not good enough for you?
LANCE: Dude.
Okay, but you do know that she's not into you, right?
Thank God.
Hello. Hello?
Cheese and rice!
Karen, let me have that for you.
But in the alley and I ain't that cheap, now
(GROANlNG)
She'll be hopping around in no time.
(LAUGHS)
I'm gay! And, so, that's it.
Excuse me. We kind of need you to pee in the radiator.
Hey, there, Bilbo Baggins, there's no height requirement.
I'm so happy.
I had to party with some new homies.
He's suffering, Lance. I'm not gonna leave him here by himself. Okay?
What's up? What's up?
(LAUGHlNG)
You're laughing.
Why don't they just let me live?
(SCOFFS)
-Amen. -We gotta roll, man. Thank you very much.
Excuse me, ma'am, that was my pump.
-Please, no! Come on, it's not even my car! -And good luck with the lady friend.
Um...
-Got it. -So take me back to the Big Boy
For God's sake. You two rump rangers couldn't wait five minutes?
Hey, how about you sit the fuck back down before me and you have a problem?
-lt's Lance, right? -No.
Hey, don't look at me like that. I'll punch you in the goddamn throat.
Look, there's this girl...
I'm gonna lift up this door and my big fucking glorious bitchy Judge
You should bang her
you never really get to see the star's naughty parts.
-All right. Get back, man. -lan?
Look, I'm sorry, sir, but we can't give you a ride.
Oh, my gosh ! Hey.
-Some autographed photos? -Or we could give you CDs.
Oh, no. I'm not. Not anymore.
(THUDS)
(GROANlNG)
And now you're in here in jail pissing like a big dog in front of all the perverts.
lan, lan, whip a shitty!
I'm putting up three hundy.
-You, get your ass up. -Give me a minute.
-lan, do not pick up a hitchhiker. -Don't worry, I won't.
What were you doing, man? Shit.
You love lan, don't you, baby?
(SPlTTlNG)
'Cause you're a big, giant pussy. That's right.
Wow!
Not you, not Angie, that's that girl I was telling you about.
-Ow! Cut it out. -Hurts, doesn't it?
We dated for a few weeks.
lan, you're going the wrong way.
What?
(THUDDlNG)
-No. No. -No?
(LAUGHS)
(LANCE LAUGHlNG)
-Not into dudes. -No, no, no, no, no.
Fine, okay, you were right. My feet are killing me,
What?
What are you looking at, Ellen DeGeneres? I will crush you.