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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Shit!
Come here.
Listen, Reba.
l'll get them later.
who would like to share her story with these young men.
but never. Never fucking ever. You know?
Oh, yeah ! I like Lance, 'cause he's so hot.
KAREN: Oh, dear.
Yeah. Hard.
-Where's Felicia? -She went to get corn dogs.
And you fucking made it happen.
Yeah, you do. You're stroking it, too. What the F?
-Dude. -Hey.
SANDY: Come on !
Here we go.
Every drop helps so much.
The first day I saw her, I said, This is gonna be my wife.
lAN: Stop it! I'm warning you !
Um... Nobody.
Lafferty, Nesbitt, your bail has been posted.
So, if you've never seen Sex Drive before, please, for real,
Show them, Karen.
But he got no respect for bitches.
-Help him to... -Thanks.
lAN: We open up against Michigan in two weeks.
I think we should take your clothes off now.
but the obvious statement to make here is that you like her.
Come on, Rex, wait. The girl... The one I told you about from the lnternet.
I can't deal with a landing strip.
Look, I have my insurance card. I'm sorry. We're from out of town.
Wiener!
Do you know any breathing exercises?
-REX: Let's go, Dad. -What a dick.
(GIVE UP? PLAYlNG)
Don't apologize to me.
You may want to cover your eyes, sweetheart, there could be some splatter.
You bleach that.
I need you ready for that.
-Yeah. -So if you ever get any cancer,
Take it easy while we do all this for you.
Excuse me!
We'll come back. I promise.
(CHUCKLlNG)
-Holy shit. -Jesus!
The best of us can find happiness
-I'm uncircumcised. -Yeah.
lan, you know the other night at Lance's party?
-You're losing him. -No, I got him. I got him.
Wow, you look beautiful.
Okay, dude, you don't know that. I mean, she could have anything under there.
Whoa! Hey, what is this? Why are the seats out?
Look, I didn't even know what she was talking about. That doesn't count! Okay?
FELlClA: Yeah.
But actually I have a town car outside if you wanna go see...
-You know my boy lan? -Yeah. No. I don't know.
You can watch, if you're into that kind of thing.
You know, the vet said there's actually a good chance he might pull through.
(GRAND THEFT AUTUMN / WHERE IS YOUR BOY PLAYlNG)
I can't be the guy that you're gonna talk to about your boyfriends anymore. I can't...
-All right, all right. -lAN: Take your hands off her!
Come on, man, she's not worth it.
-Rex, I got this. -lan !
You should've seen the look in his eyes.
Oh.
I'm kidding. Oh, God ! I got you. You're so easy. You're so easy!
-so he can get on with killing me. -What about visiting your grandma?
That's all she is. lan, gas station.
-What is that? -Oh, my God.
Um...
Well, you're mighty cute, and your car is really pretty.
lAN: She wants me to meet her tonight at the Big Boy in Knoxville.
(CLANGlNG)
I mean, you know the only reason is because I don't want to ruin our friendship.
-Can you handle it? Are you sure? Okay. -Yeah.
-Everybody wants... -What they can't get. I know, I got it.
and it is always a pleasure. She's just a delight.
Kids.
Fine.
DOCTOR: Felicia Alpine.
(SNlFFLES)
I'm sorry. I just took a squirt a couple of minutes ago.
-Yeah, but no offense... -Right, 'cause I'm Amish,
Oh, God ! Jesus fucking... God damn it! I'm trying to do the right thing here.
Suck his cock, lan.
Felicia!
This is our decision To live fast and die young
Hey. You okay in there?
Quick car wash?
Could we send you some pictures? We don't really have cash or anything.
I mean, unless that's what you're into, and then, whatever.
Said, I don't care what you think
-You want to smell my finger? -Yeah, okay.
Hey, Lindsay, sweetheart, where you going?
(SINGING) Well, no, no, me, I never worry
It's making my head spin
You could see them from space! What's up?
Want some of this?
You're a dick. You know what, ma'am? You're a dick, too.
with some random, hopefully hot, hopefully female person that I met on the lnternet.
I don't care what you think
(CONTlNUES FARTlNG)
I fixed my 4X4 and bought my lady a sexy French lingerie.
You blew your head gasket. That's not good.
No.
Twat blocking... Professor...
Let’s go get food
LANCE: Watch out, lan ! Fuck! FELlClA: Watch it, lan !
and you can toss that friendship right out the motherfucking window.
and you go bang the female woman like the good Lord intended.
i love fixing other people's shit for free
(GARAGE DOOR OPENlNG)
Well, good luck with the future ride, spaceman.
But if you're on Rumspringa, what's with the buggy?
lan, just look at this. I mean, you roll up in a '69 GTO,
With his dick instead of a hammer.
Hey Ian. Try not to come back any gayer than you are now.
-Where do you live? -What color car do you have?
-I'm a firefighter. -GlRL: Fuck off!