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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
No. What he said to me was... He called me an iCunt.
That's loud. Every eight minutes, buddy.
Paul McCartney. Okay. Stop it.
I thought you said smokers die.
We were on the way to the doctor's office.
What are you doing?
I would. Kill myself.
I wish my fucking foot would go right through your skull.
Yes, because you spent thousands of dollars on shit we don't need.
Which is so odd because your children are Jewish.
What?
Fuck off, Jill. God, everybody fucking hates you.
You have never been nice to her
Did you say that?
Hey, guys.
If she goes to work, then I gotta hire somebody!
Do you mean that in a good way?
I'm sick of everybody fighting.
because that puts a lot of pressure on you, and stress,
You're a blast to dance with.
"Cock-suck away his sadness."
I mean, there's no way I could. Why?
A couple numbers have trickled in.
Who wants to be killed? I do!
That was deeply uncomfortable.
Bye, Graham. See you later, Graham.
You shut up. Shut up, Sadie!
Everything that goes in is dicks?
Because you're eight.
Ah. So, you were expecting it to sell?
I'm dead! You're dead! You're dead!
I think she might be stealing.
Oh, God, of course you do.
Hello. Hello, Debbie.
Why don't you go on the table?
(LAUGHS)
Where's Daddy?
Absolutely. It's gotta be peaceful.
We stick around.
You think that haircut's cool? It's not.
They love widowers. It's like the polar opposite of divorced guys.
(SIGHS)
Because Claire wanted a baby.
because she's got an ear infection again.
Well...
I would love to lend you money, but... Thank you.
I hope I never get my period if this is what happens.
Lately, my penis hasn't been getting as hard as it used to, all right?
I don't wanna hang out with her when I'm in my 20s.
How do I call eBay?
It is. You're right.
He's coming, he's coming. Oreo Man is coming.
Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh.
Oh. Pete wouldn't know what to do with that.
Wow.
(CHUCKLES) What a mess.
You have responsibilities? Don't talk to me about responsibilities.
He doesn't seem happy.
And I won't be around to see it, and that makes me very sad.
(PLAYING)
Sadie, the one you chat with on the Internet.
No big deal.
What's wrong with Art Garfunkel? He has a beautiful voice.
I'm sorry. Okay...
Who's Tom Petty? You know who Tom Petty is.
Hi, Debbie.
Right, right. I mean, we're both so busy.
He's doing sad, lonely eyes to get the next lady.
And I feel bad for the kid.
I'm sure Oliver would agree. Well...
Cowgirl
But I'm gonna start with you, Jill.
She loves me.
Do you know why we're missing money at the store?
Great. Great.
Grandma Molly.
was Graham Parker.
My boobs? Yeah.
Be right back. Okay.
How did that happen?
In fact, if you insult my wife again, you know what I'm gonna do?
If he insults my daughter again,
No, Debbie's not really into selling the house.
Charlotte, put that down.
I'm gonna let you watch Lost. Come on.
Mom, I can't be late for school. I have a test.
That's good news.
You're no fun. You never want to play.
How wonderful to see you.
Oh, yeah. I've been growing it.
And, you know, you're only here for five more years.
DEBBIE: Why did you put that guy's teeth in your mouth?
There's not much I can do.
This place can be quiet.
I'm sorry about the record.
No! No, they're Barb's.
It's just not our way. We don't talk to each other.
All right, I'm off.
Shit. What?
I'm going to have to cut back.
That's why your body looks like your body
Yeah. Should we get a block of porn?
That was nice.
Let's go, we'll feed them. Mommy will feed them.
I was there. I'm the one who took your mother to the hospital.
I don't think so. It's wheat.
And the other thing is your dad's stuff,
Why do you need to have sex, Deb?
Yeah, I'm ready to help. Just tell me what to do.
A lot of people are RSVP-ing to your birthday party.
Yeah.
It's nice to see you in class. We'd like to see more of you.
Listen, Charlotte really needs to get here on time
Kids! Time to go!
(SINGING ALONG)
No, no. It's not what I mean. I'm just...
That is so insane, it kind of makes sense.
You know, I actually made this one myself.
Turn around, turn around, turn around!
Hey, how funny would it be if I bought your house?
Please don't put a pillow over my face.
Really, Jill? Do you think it is?
I would enjoy our last few months together. Me too.
All the pressure is on the guy.
Say it again. Bodies by Jason.
Help. Help.
That's great! Yes.
Thank you. The girls are so excited you're here.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Yes.
You guys talk to each other like that all the time.
Close the door.
The smell.
You don't get it. See, you don't understand how it works.
That's mean.
I know everything. I talked to the accountant.
It was like being in fucking Weekend at Graham's.
Look, I saw you have two babies, okay?
I know, I know. PETE: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
I'm very close.
This is what happens when you corner a rat.
Stop crying like a baby Stop crying like a baby
That's what you look like.
It's not melting my brain, it's blowing my mind.
You're never, ever in the moment.
That's what everybody did. You did some blow, had sex, had an abortion.
DEBBIE: It's just not my kind of music.
Sex is the number one thing people fight about.
We're home.
That's nice. Come on in. Sure.
What?
Is there something that you can do to be helping me right now?
I'm trying to fuck you.
Could you see it in your heart to lend me some money?
Hey. Oh, hi, Pete.
I know, I am a dick sometimes.
I don't think anyone is looking for handouts. I mean, you know...
Debbie...
PETE: Don't be such a ball-buster.
And you really need to pay attention to the numbers
(SIGHS)
I think I might have an anal fissure, or a hemorrhoid, or a worm or something.
Oh. We are on time.
I like it, and I think Graham Parker's sexy.
Ready to just choose joy and forgive everybody.
Mom, why can't I get new clothes?
then I'm gonna have to take away your phone and your computer.
And this is what people buy.
I don't want him to think I like him that much.
I'm not blind.
It was better. It takes some of the pressure off.
some of the clothes that we have in the store?
It’s my birthday
I mean, if you want.
When I kissed him, I felt his little tiny teeth nubs with my tongue.
and I would not know what the object was.
The guy in the wheelchair is gonna sing it to the Asian girl, I believe.
These might be my very last words.
Is that what you want me to say? You happy?
ACCOUNTANT: (ON PHONE) And then you missed the mortgage payment,
I'm faster than you!
Actually, we had lunch together last week. Uh-huh.
You need to cancel it.