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Stories: by users like you.
# With knives and forks sticking out of his leg #
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Dr. Milo, please, do not call my wife mad!
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Boy, that escalated quickly.
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Yeah, sure.
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The map will have to wait, for sure,
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I would've tied myself naked to a chair
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... exactly three fucking seconds...
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Pizza.
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You're on the other side. Whole new ball game.
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I like you, Betty.
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Cyril Wecht's a loudmouth asshole?
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You self-righteous bastard.
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I was the first person on my block
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I was the first person on my block
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Am I not the King?!
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Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it.
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his mother gave birth to another baby boy.
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You keep using that word.
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The little major-domo bird hippety-hopped...
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This time...
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He ruined our salad.
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I'm getting butterflies!
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Yo, listen up here's a story
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It's not part of your job.
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His name is Nutty the Squirrel,
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but you found me in the Jungle.
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Help me. Help me.
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Chris...
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Scary?
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[TIRES SCREECH]
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Kind of makes it better
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- Choo-choo! - Choo-choo, baby!
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'Old Sport'.
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Is this weird? Is this too weird?
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You're right. Absolutely right.
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(IN SINGSONG VOICE) MC Mikey.
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Don't you feel all right?
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think about being a vampire again.
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You think he might be a vampire?
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You think he might be a vampire?
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I know you. You know you.
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No marriage counselor. No trial separation. I'm gonna get fuckin' divorced.
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I can give her a lavish home.
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I can give her a lavish home.
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I can give her a lavish home.
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I can give her a lavish home.
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I can give her a lavish home.
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I can give her a lavish home.
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I can give her a lavish home.
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It's not my fault she wanted someone with more to offer.
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It's not my fault she wanted someone with more to offer.
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All we need is just a little patience
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Hello, Mr. Finerman. You wanna buy a computer?
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We Jump Street.
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I didn't know how to. It just started happening.
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And then she'll say, yes, Peridot.
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It's okay. Mom!
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Now to teach you boys a lesson, Officer Rabbit and I are gonna stand here...
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Now to teach you boys a lesson, Officer Rabbit and I are gonna stand here...
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stopping at every home you pass by to beg forgiveness
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stopping at every home you pass by to beg forgiveness
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You took away my victory!
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Kowalski, I say we use this setback to our advantage.
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Hey, happy slappers! Is there some reason to celebrate? Look at the plane!
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So, what's the plan?
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- What are you two doing here? - Learning to paint.
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Something grabs a hold of me tightly
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10 times!
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Sometimes you gotta suck a dick
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What you're searching for isn't out there, Hiccup...
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It would give me great pleasure
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-Banished with your best friend. -He is not my friend.
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Donkey! Don't eat that!
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Help me! Help me! No, no!
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I'll just eat dirt and wipe my ass with sticks!
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Play a melancholy song.
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Play a melancholy song.
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I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
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This is Uncle Ted in front of the house.
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I would tax Racquel Welch.
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...is going to use the Kragle to end the world?
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I don't know how you're doing on the inside, honey,
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Dead!
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This is amazing!
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Can any of you geniuses tell me the kelley blue book value
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What have we here?
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Well, now. Ha ha.
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Well, now. Ha ha.
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Chris
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Let Mama take care of it.
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big
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what
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And he also came to know the pleasures of women...
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And he also came to know the pleasures of women...
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I
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This planet will be dark forever.
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You hear that, Kyle?
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Taylor.
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Claire, I'm not standing here asking you to marry me.
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Claire, I'm not standing here asking you to marry me.
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Take a chance.
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Take a chance.
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Those Guys Are Inside You Building A Piece Of Shit
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- Maybe we could have a break? - A break?
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What are you thinking, Mama?
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He spilled glue on the floor and didn't tell anyone.
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Let me ask you, sir.
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- Put her in hover, Barf. - Putting her in hover.
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- Put her in hover, Barf. - Putting her in hover.
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